Fathering boys - Getting Ryan to care about Shirts

I have been following a group on Yahoo Groups that is called

Fathersraisingsons

It is one of the few places where the frank discussion of spanking is aired. It gave me a little more to go on as to keeping the lid on a very rambunctious 12 year old.

Tonight I had a talk with him and told him about some of his behaviors that were not good. Specifically the name calling and rude vulgarity that happened between him and other little kids in the baseball scoring booth at he ball field on Sunday. The little girl that got called a very rude name came out to complain. Later that same little girl gave me some feedback on Monday while pointing out Ryan as the instigator. (We were at the Kenpo dojo)

Tonight I gave him a +'s and -'s chart of actions that he has been doing and not doing. (verbal behavior modifiers re: chores etc.) Even some hard lectures about laundry and stuff. It seemed to make a difference. He did go to the store with his Mom to get a few shirts so he can have some "acceptable" clothes to wear.

Boy that should help at the early AM rush to get out the door on time for the Carpool to school. The past few weeks it has been a lot of only one or two items will do. IE Stupid fashion demands.

Then late this evening he sat in my lap and let me tickle and nooogy him as he told me a few tails of the rough and tumble ways of boys in middle school. Ryan is doing OK at holding his own. Possibly a little to rough for others. But he is OK. Shoulder punching...

Back when we/I had a hand slap game that was stinging. Did it at home with the older Brother at time. Youch!

Middle School is a proving ground and a place where some possible lifelong friendships can be formed. I am praying that his associates are good ones. It seems possible that the mix is not as bad as I had feared for a LA school. Ryan mixes with older and upper grade clicks with ease. That is Very good. I am a little worried that he may not have a lot of 6th grader friends when he and those kids are upper class piers in 8th grade. But that is not to big a deal.

Ryan is into Risk, Grand Torismo on PS2 and Mercenary on PS2. But that does not keep him from playing basketball with the neighbor kids and riding his bike to the ball park on the top of the hill to pretend he is riding off road.

All of his new shirts are sporting the latest designs from FOX that has the moniker for a BMX dirt bike type action brand. (Not cheap) But kool looks. An assortment and a set that will get him though the week and... I Hope... Will change him into taking some interest in the care and stocking of clothes into his dresser for several days worth.

I.E. Not just "What am I gonna wear today?!?!" at 7:26 am when the carpool honk is due out front at 7:30 something. All to often followed by Mom and Dad yelling at him not to be so picky about his socks or pants or shirts. Yeesh.

I'll be watching to see if it gets much better in the morning rush.